Blush
by vittoria del sottaceto
Summary: I needed immediately change the subject of my thoughts before I could imagine running my fingers anywhere else. *currently being reworked* please be patient! : auah eb
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 - revised**

**Tuesday, August 26th**

I had always hated the first day of classes. The fact that I have always been awkward enough around people without having to stand up and speak in front of them really doesn't have that much to do with my hatred, but it doesn't help it either. The beginning of a new semester is always full of embarrassing "get-to-know-you" games or the aloof "Hi, my name is…, my major is…, and the ever important 'here's-why-I'm-better-than-you' fact" that all professors seem to require. Being forced to stand and say just enough to make me self-conscious and tongue-tied is just slightly irritating. Plus, I had already done the whole "I'm not from here, I wanted something different for school" schpeal at least three times already and I really wasn't looking forward to doing it again.

Nobody would care what my major was going to be.

Nobody would care that I wasn't from around here.

Nobody would care that I didn't have a home to go back to.

No one.

No one cared that I'm miles away from anything familiar.

No one cared that my mother only loved me through greeting cards and when it was appropriate for her.

No one even cared that my…

Instantly, my angst ridden, teen-like thoughts were halted when _he_ stood up. And just like that, _everybody _cared.

If they didn't, it didn't matter.

His cheeks flushed lightly at the unwanted attention. It looked like he was trying to distract himself by keeping his eyes glued to the white board on the opposite wall of him. That was a trick I had learned in high school during competitions and presentations, to look right above a persons' head and talk at that spot.

He was absolutely gorgeous, yet something about him that seemed familiar.

_Who do I know here? _If there were ever a time when I had met this god before, surely I would have remembered?

As he parted his beautifully paired lips to introduce himself to the class and it suddenly came back to me.

I had seen him Thursday morning, the first time I had ever been on campus.

_I had decided to walk my schedule, to find where everything was. Luckily, it wasn't as hot as it should be outside, not yet. I was looking for the Farmer's Education Building when a flash of color grabbed for my attention in my peripheral vision. I looked towards the student services building and slowed my strides – for both mine and everyone else's safety. He was walking quickly out of the building. His face was terribly angry, but still overwhelmingly beautiful. Fortunately, he didn't seem to notice my staring, which was definitely for the besting seeing as I ran into some poor landscaper at that moment. I apologized to the man profusely and began to brush myself off and as slyly as is possibly for me, I peaked up towards the Student Services Building to see if my embarrassing first moments on campus had been witnessed. But the handsome man was no where to be seen._

My face exploded into a white heat as I relived my embarrassment. The fact that I was ninety-eight percent sure that he, nor anyone else, had witnessed, made the heat vanish gradually. As I thought back I was curious as I recalled the memory as to why he was angry.

He certainly didn't look angry now. He looked slightly embarrassed. His eyes were no longer glued to the wall, but shifted nervously, never lingering long on any one thing in the room. And they never once came to my side of the room.

Almost as if he was searching for a way out of the small classroom. I took the rest of him in. He was tall, I could tell, but with no one else standing, it was hard for me to judge his actual height. The shirt he was wearing was non-descript and nothing fancy. The fact that he didn't dress up showed that he was laid back...Or that he was lazy. But he wasn't dressed down, so he cared to an extent.

Either way, he was absolutely beautiful.

Glumly, I looked down at my choice of school attire: the hand-me-down sweatshirt from my dad and jeans. I had never been one who "dressed to impress", especially in a school setting. Why should I dress up just to sit in an uncomfortable chair for 50 -75 minutes, just in futile hopes of impressing someone in the 15 minutes that I have to run to my next class? But as I looked up at him again I suddenly regretted not trying harder. Refocusing my eyes back to my dad's old ROTC sweater, I nearly blanched. I could have worn a cute hoodie, or braved the ridiculously cold classrooms for the sake of being a girl, right? Well_, if I owned any of those things, I could._ And now that I was sitting in a room with him twice a week, I was all for risking comfort. I'd brave going to the store and spending some money on something a little bit … nicer. For the sake of being a girl ... of course.

_In this class, at least._

When I lifted my head back up to pay attention to him, I realized that due to my inner musings, I had missed everything he said. He had sat down and stared blankly at the bright colored syllabus in front of him.

His name, his major, where he was from, I had missed it all. Not even given an inkling of who this dazzling man could be or what he said. All for the sake of critiquing my vanity.

Pointless, pathetic vanity. It's not like he would ever really look at me anyway. Even if I did dress nicer, he'd never _see_ me.

Nevertheless, I craned my neck slightly in his direction to … look at the clock to, erm… check the , almost lunch time, just as I had suspected. I shifted my eyes slightly down in hopes of catching a glimpse of him, to see if he really was as magnificent as he was in the sun this morning.

_It was pure luck that he was located right near the clock. That couldn't have worked out any better._

He looked up and met my eyes for a split second before they darted back down to his table.

_Good Lord! His eyes!_

The slight blush that had crept up into his lightly freckled cheeks only made him more stunning. I had never known anyone else to blush as I did and I had to wonder what put it there. My curious thoughts about him carried me through the rest of class.

Soon enough, we were dismissed early and I profusely thanked God that I wasn't caught drooling at him.

I started to gather my things and risked one last hopeful glance towards … "the clock". No such luck. He was surely long gone by now. Heaving a sigh, I removed my dad's old sweater and exited the empty room.

Nothing could prepare me for the blistering heat of Tempe. _Why did I have to choose Tempe? No one in their right mind would freaking choose Tempe! _But apparently, I didn't like to breathe and sweating myself to death was my idea of fun. Walking from the shade, I flinched as the sun attacked my eyes and skin. I knew when I moved here that I would have to invest in some heavy duty SPF; it didn't occur to me that I would need to devote some more money to some serious sunglasses, too. If I wanted to keep my retinas at least.

I chose to forgo the union and cafeteria (not to mention the long line full of hungry, sweaty people) and head home for lunch. I had a nice long break before my second class and my third and my apartment wasn't too far off campus. If Tempe wasn't a freakin' oven, I could walk.

By the time I had gotten to Lot 59, I was starving. The sun beating down on me, making my hair hot to the touch, and I was quite sure that I would be bright red by the time I got myself home. _Oh, Arizona. Here's to being forever sun burnt._

I had finally located my car and was in the process of quickening my pace when _he_ came into view. I fought hard against the strong desire that was telling me to just stand and stare at him. No! I would not let him distract me from my task! My stomach growled in agreement as if to give me strength that I wouldn't have otherwise. I threw my bag into the backseat and was halfway in my car when I felt eyes on me. I glanced up to see a pair of beautifully warm eyes looking back at me from a few spots down. His beautiful face turned up in a small smile and he nodded shyly at me in acknowledgment. My breath caught with the brilliance of that minute smile. However, instead of sending my own smile back at him even waving like a normal girl, I blushed and quickly entered the sanctuary that was my car.

In the quiet moment I had to myself before gaining the courage to reverse out of my parking spot, I silently prayed that he would smile at me everyday. That he would be in more of my tedious classes. That I would get to hear his voice. Know his name. Love him. Marry him. I stopped there. I was being ridiculous. I turned the car on and upped the stereo in hopes of drowning out my suddenly very girlie inner voice and drove off.

I winced as I pulled into my assigned covered parking spot. I turned the car off and let go of a breath that felt as if I had been holding it for an absurd amount of time.

My attempt of musical distraction from him failed. Horribly. I couldn't remove him from my brain. I knew his face was beautiful from earlier in the morning. I had seen his eyes were bright with life and vibrant from the brief encounters they had shared with mine. His skin was darker than mine, although that isn't a huge accomplishment as the Irish in me beats down any other darker-skinned ancestry I may have. The hair on his head was wonderfully unique and soft looking. A girl could, very happily I'm sure, run her fingers though hair like that. I would absolutely choke on satisfaction if I got a chance to run my fingers through that hair.

I felt my breath hitch at that thought.

I needed immediately change the subject of my thoughts before I could imagine running my fingers anywhere else.

* * *

It's been reworked. I hope you like it more.

Let me know :)

Have a great day!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Tuesday, August 26****th**** - continued**

When I left Bentonville, I had taken whatever I needed from my dad's house. Mom didn't want anything… she didn't even want to help me go through any of it. Of course, that's not what she said, but as always, she made up an excuse that would pardon her absence. Again. Part of me wanted to just throw it all out and leave as soon as possible. I think she kind of hoped that I would. But, because I am my fathers' daughter, I went through everything. Every piece of scrap paper in his desk, every article of clothing, every fragment of junk in the garage waiting for him to renovate had been successfully rifled through when I was finally finished. So, I packed what I thought I would need to be comfortable with living by myself (basically the whole kitchen, linens, personal belongings, my books and movies, pictures that I couldn't live without – some of him and mom during the early days, a couple of his shirts I couldn't bare to give away, etc.). Somehow, everything that I owned, in addition to everything I took from my dad, had fit snugly into the old mustang my dad gave me. With the car packed to the brim, I wasn't able use my rear-view mirror. I considered that a good thing. I didn't _want_ to look back. I didn't want to even have the chance as I was driving towards the west.

When I had finally arrived in Tempe, I started to unpack, thinking it would make me more comfortable, more at home. At first it did. The kitchen had gone smoothly and feeling accomplished, I moved on to the guest bedroom. I set my lap top up in the corner, unloaded my books, and made a mental note to stop at Target or Ikea to get some bookshelves, a cheap desk, and some other small essentials.

Everything had been going great. I was out. I was finally out of my small town and in a large city. I had successfully escaped the pitying faces that surrounded me since before what would have been my high school graduation. I started feeling free and grown up. It was absolutely blissful.

It wasn't until I started pulling out the pictures that it felt wrong. When I packed them originally, I had felt like I _needed_ these pictures to be near me so I couldn't have left them behind or throw them away. But, as I began to find a place for them, I couldn't look at them. I was surprised at the time at how much it hurt and how there seemed to be a hole growing inside. I had been so… numb to this feeling before. What had happened wasn't unexpected. I had been ready, I was trained to take over, and I wasn't surprised that day. But now, the sense of being alone and of missing family … it felt final. _It was final._ I was no longer at home, no longer in the familiar surroundings of a town I had lived in for the last twenty-two years. The house of my childhood had been sold and the left over belongings (belongings I had known, played with, loved, hated) were given to Good Will or thrown out. That part of my life was over… and I was anxious to start a new chapter. I just wasn't sure how to start.

My stomach growled so loud that it was embarrassing, even if no one else had heard it. Thankful for the distraction my hungry stomach gave me, I remembered that I had come back to my bare apartment for lunch. With still one more class to get through today, I needed to feed before I attempted, yet again, to not embarrass myself horribly on campus. So, in the tradition of college students everywhere, I plopped myself down in front of my laptop (Phil – my moms latest and "greatest" conquest – got it for me after my announcement of moving across the country to go to a school that I wasn't even sure I would like) with a bowl of ramen and began browsing the internet.

Facebook, one of the only connections I still had to home, didn't really hold my interest. However, it definitely held the interest of half of old classmates. I took my time, reading each new comment and trying to respond in a way that wouldn't be too gloomy. I was trying to make them believe that things were perfect, that Arizona was like heaven. An oven-like heaven. I lied, over and over, pretending that the heat was something that I loved, something I craved.

I puffed out a sigh as I finished the very last bit of my ramen and sat my blue Ravenclaw bowl into the sink and I told myself that I would wash it later.

I admit that I'm a big fan of the Harry Potter books. However, my mom had gone through a phase of being _really_ into Harry Potter. She spent just about my entire senior year calling me "_ickle Bella-kins_" in a terribly false English accent. In front of everyone. Always. On top of that, she had actually found a paint-your-own-pottery shop and made me a set of bowls as a present for my 18th birthday. A bowl for each house as well as one with the Hogwarts crest. Though I may not have been very grateful for them at the time… they are pretty fantastic.

Since I moved to Tempe, this had become my routine: ramen noodles (sometimes exchanged with something equally as bad for me, but still, too easy to make) and the internet. I'd only been here for about a week, but this was quickly becoming all I did. I had to find something else to do. _Anything_ could be better than this.

Maybe I could get a job.

Dad had told me on several occasions that if I could make it through school without a job, to do it. Schooling was always far more important to him and he wanted me to concentrate on something I wanted to do, rather than something I "had" to do. I tried to reason with him in high school. "E_veryone gets a job!_" But he held firm to his beliefs. He told me that in college, he had to work his way through and that going to school full-time and working just about full-time was not something he would wish on anyone, especially when it came to writing papers, studying for tests, and creating projects. His professors didn't care that he had to works and his employer didn't care that he was a full-time student; they looked at him as if he were just an all-around slacker and couldn't keep up.

"_You need to decide which is more important to you, getting paid or getting an education."_

After Dad passed away, I thought that I would have to get a job and that his wishes would go unfulfilled. I should have known better, of course. But it was still a bit shocking after talking to his lawyer that I would be taken care of. Somehow, dad had made sure when the time came, his wishes wouldn't go unnoticed. Between his savings, his life insurance policy, and the checks that mom and Phil send monthly to buy my love: I didn't _need_ anything. I most definitely wouldn't need a job but with the lack of activity and the abundance of boredom that was occupying my time, I wanted one. Just to quickly revive my dull life.

I enjoy the quiet and my privacy. Company wasn't something I felt I needed, either. Sure, it was nice sometimes, but I could see how it could become annoying (which is exactly why I avoided going to live with my mother. My annoyance would grow rapidly around her). What little company I would need, I could easily get in class – or at a job, should I choose to get one. Because of this, I didn't feel that I needed a roommate, though I let the sales woman talk me into the two bedrooms … "just in case".

Also, Tempe and its surroundings are so much larger and far more diverse than my small little town of Bentonville, Arkansas. Who knew who was out there? They could be sloppy, drug addicts, rapists, murd… I had to stop myself there.

Who knew? I definitely didn't. I couldn't judge. But still, I didn't want someone living with me who had several different … partners who would come over at all hours of the night, either. How would you know who you were asking to live with you? It's not like they would proudly announce it when you first meet them. Would they?

I shuddered at the thought of someone _that_ open to a relative stranger.

Either way, I had all that I could ever ask for: a roof, food, and distance between me and those who knew me. I could be anyone, I could start over new, I had more than enough free time to do anything I wanted, and I had no worries about curfews. A college students dream, right? …Right.

Unfortunately, this whole free-time business was not for me. I needed something to work on. I wanted something constructive to do with my time. Maybe I could get an early start on studying for my morning classes.

Gah, how pathetic am I? The second day of school and I'm already thinking of studying. No. That won't do.

I could… wonder around campus and hope to run into _him_ again. A smile started to appear on my face when I remembered our last encounter in the parking lot. No matter how short it was. No matter how ridiculous my reaction had been. The blush made its way back up into my cheeks.

_This is absurd, Bella! You haven't even talked to him!_ The smile that had appeared had begun to diminish. I mean, with a face like his, he may not even know how to hold an intelligent conversation_. Bring on the frown._ He probably got through school on his looks alone. And anyway, a guy who looks like _that_ wouldn't want me.

I let out a mangled sound of frustration.

That's it. I _have_ to get out of this apartment.

I traded my socked feet for a pair of worn out flip flops, grabbed my bag, and I headed out the door. I swung open the drivers side and climbed in. Sitting for a minute, I tried to decide where I was going to go. I remembered hearing about a rather large library. I took a peek at my campus map. _Hayden Library._ Located right next to West Hall, on the way to my sociology class. The class with _him_.

_Stop it, Bella. It's just a guy. There were guys in Arkansas, too._

I let out an annoyed sigh. Returning to the game plan, I chose the library. A library that size surely had a nice literature section. I wouldn't even have to try to study. I could check it out and get some casual reading done for myself.

I started the refurbished, old mustang and, in order to waste more time, I drove slower than normal towards campus. I tried to appreciate the differences between Tempe and home. The lack of green was quite possibly the most obvious and most aggravating. Besides the heat, of course. Tempe was like an oven. Pebbles were used for landscaping here; grass was something I had already started to miss.

_This is what you wanted – different._

Back home, a rock yard was a sure sign of a retired couple; too old or too unwilling to do anything to care for their lawn.

Wispy needles covered trees instead of big oak leaves. There were flowery clumps of yellow everywhere. I wasn't quite sure if they came from trees or shrubs. Dad would know. He always loved this kind of stuff. Every once in a while, I'd pass a bush with bright purple blooms on it. Shockingly colorful to be stuck in a world of brown and dirt.

I could see the charm of the west. But with the tortuous heat, the cruel sun, not even a hint of cool breeze, and with the air standing so still that it was suffocating; I could see that it wasn't for me. What was I thinking? Coming to Tempe, of all places. _You could have gone anywhere: Seattle, Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia, and yet, you still chose Tempe?! You chose to be a Sun Devil?!_ I questioned my sanity as searched around for Hayden. I spotted West Hall and I looked in the direction that it should be. Just a big patch of Astroturf, some solar panels, and a big structure that looked almost like a large lantern. I continued to glance around; thinking maybe I miss read the map. I walked around West Hall and quickly recognized the Coor Building and several other buildings. None of which were marked as a library. Walking back towards the field of Astroturf, I pulled out my map.

I quickly found where I was standing, in between West Hall and McClintock Hall. I walked forward, where the tail end of the library building should be and looked up from my map. Just then, I saw a small herd of students walk down in to a large hole in the ground just next to what the map called Wilson Hall. I looked at my map again and raised my eyes back to watch more students enter and exit.

Underground library? How had I missed this on when I was walking around campus? Was I seriously that blind that I couldn't see a gigantic hole in the middle of campus that I could now clearly see the large stone sign that boasted "HAYDEN LIBRARY" above it?

I thought back to the private campus tour that I had given myself. I had walked almost the entire campus when I had seen him. Had I really been in that much of a fog afterwards?

I took a puff of hot, stagnant air, frustrated at my lack of observation that I had just displayed. I could feel that my face was flushed from embarrassment and I felt a rush of gratitude to the desert air. No one would know that I wasn't sun burnt. I walked towards the staircase descending in to Hayden's underground and pushed _him_ out of my mind. _Stupid perfect looking face. I bet he's a selfish dill hole._ I was annoyed and completely done thinking about him.

I sped my stride and almost started running to escape the oven that must have been pre-heated for 550 degrees. The doors pulled open automatically and I stepped into the glorious air conditioning. A few steps in, however, I seriously considered turning back into the heat. There's no way that it could have been nearly as sweltering as I had originally thought. I was lucky that I had decided to grab my fathers' old sweater before leaving the apartment, unfortunately, due to my flip flops, my toes would have to suffer the tundra that was Hayden Library. The vast room felt colder than a meat locker and for a split second, I was sure that my entire tuition had gone to AC this very building. I shivered out a breath and I thought I could almost see the vapor leave my mouth (but I'm sure it was just my imagination). I shivered once more and turned towards the study tables where a few students were already hard at work. _At least I'm not the only one who has nothing else to do._ I picked a seat and put my stuff down in order to go find something decent to read.

I wandered around the aisles and had covered quite a bit of ground before I found something that caught my eye. I quickly grabbed it and was heading back to my table when I heard some whispers on the other side of the shelf. It's not that I condone eavesdropping, but sometimes, even if I try my hardest to avoid it, I can't help but hear.

"No. He refused me. Again! Al, I'm beginning to think you're right. That he doesn't like me," A soft tenor voice complained.

"Of course I'm right, Mike. And it's not that he doesn't like _you_ -- it's just that he doesn't _like_ you. He isn't into… he doesn't play for your team, ya know? It's not like I haven't told you that about a hundred times," an exasperated soprano answered.

"Well maybe if you would have told me!" the boy exclaimed.

"Mike! You're impossible!" the girl nearly shouted at him before quickly adding in a hushed voice "What did I tell you last week when yet another one of your failed attempts at getting into his pants backfired on you?" she fumed at him.

I tried to muffle my giggles. I honestly did. But as I passed the opening of their aisle, handsome pair of blue eyes was glaring at me. He had heard me laughing at him. _Crap!_ I stopped short and immediately felt my face blaze and my eyes widen. I probably looked like a deer caught in the headlights. I tried to get my feet to work again, afraid of what the lovesick boy may say to me, but they wouldn't budge.

"Well, well, Alice" he said in a condescending tone and a wicked glint in his eyes, "he may not want me, but at least I don't look like _that_." He snickered to the small girl next to him.

I frowned as I looked down at myself. What was so bad about what I looked like? Jeans and a sweatshirt. Was that not good for here? Was my hair tangled or greasy? I took a shower today…

I looked back up to see the short girl appraise me critically, but the longer she looked, the bigger her smile got. It didn't seem like a sneer, or even sarcastic… but what did I know about her and her mean habits? The uncomfortable feeling I had when Mike had caught me grew too unbearable. I started to escape. The library was obviously the wrong choice. I shouldn't have even wasted my time attempting to find it. I'll have to find a different way to waste time… there's got to be a Barnes and Noble around here somewhere. That surely would have been better than this. Suddenly, the elf-like girl came running towards me and I felt my body tense as I tried to walk faster towards the table that held my belongings...

"Mike, you big jerk!" she hissed behind her. "Wait. I'm sorry for him." She called to me in a louder voice, causing people to glare up at me from their studies.

"He's just mad." She glared at her tall friend as she finally caught me. She quickly rearranged her face into a bright smile as she turned back to me and stuck out her hand to introduce herself.

"I'm Mary. But everyone calls me Alice. I haven't seen you around before, are you new?" She spoke rapidly, excited to be talking to someone she didn't recognize.

"Uh, yeah. I'm new." I mumbled back.

"What's your name?" she asked, more controlled this time.

"Bella." I picked my bag up and gave her a weak smile, nodding at her as I took a step away, hoping to continue my escape.

"Bella, wait!" she followed and grabbed my arm.

"Have you had lunch yet? Mike and I were heading to the MU and you can come, too." Mike made an annoyed huff and stormed off cursing.

"Well, it looks like _I'm_ going to lunch. I'd love for you to come," she amended her invitation, not looking upset in the slightest that her lunch date with Mike seemed to be cancelled.

"I've already eaten actually." I told her, still slightly uncomfortable, but much better since Mike had left.

"How about coffee? There's a small shop right around the corner. Come on!" she grabbed my arm, not letting me disagree.

Allowing myself to be pulled to the exit, I wasn't quite sure how to feel. _At least this would be an interesting way to pass time._ With that thought, I felt a smile crawl onto my face.

Talking to Alice was a different experience. She was hilarious, side-splittingly funny, open to new things and people, and very welcoming. It was a nice change from my computer screen. She told me about Mike, his one sided love affair, and his sad, failed attempt at wooing some poor guy named Edward. She told me how she was born and raised here in Tempe. She and her older brother, Emmett (she also called him "the Giant"), grew up next door to the Masens'. The Masen family had two boys and a girl. Edward (the poor boy who Mike fancies) was the youngest of the Masen kids and had turned 21 over the summer. Jasper (I didn't miss how she said his name like a sacred prayer) and Rosalie Masen were twins and were on the verge of turning 23. Emmett's 23rd birthday was two weeks ago, while Alice would turn 21 in January. They were all thrown together as children and were inseparable since. She told me several stories ranging from joint-family vacations, parties, high school drama, to the more recent college/dorm life craziness.

I had just finished my first Velvet Elvis, only trying it because Alice had bought it without telling me. Alice was in the middle of telling me about a graduation party that they had all attended when her phone sang out Hedwig's theme. She frowned slightly at the interruption but quickly smiled when she saw who was calling. I held in a big smile as I heard the familiar tune. My mom had put that ringer on my own phone when she bought it for me. I'd have to be sure to ask Alice about Harry Potter. Maybe then I'd have something interesting to add to the conversation.

"Do you mind if I take this real quick?" She asked as she bounced lightly in her seat.

"No, that's fine. I… I need to run to the bathroom anyway." I lied in order to give her privacy and to stretch my legs. She smiled brilliantly at me and assured me it would only take a second or two. I smiled back and got up from my chair. I turned the corner towards the bathroom but got distracted by a display of original looking coffee mugs and music. That's one good thing about Tempe so far. I'd get to experience music I would never hear of in Arkansas. I stood and looked through the interesting color combinations and rifled through CD's of people I've never heard of, picking out which ones I would want to buy eventually. When I felt as if I had spent enough time in the bathroom to be polite I headed back towards Alice.

Immediately, I saw that she wasn't alone. A handsome blond man was sitting next to her with an amused smile stretched over his face as she excitedly recited the story of Mike's newest attempt at getting himself into Edwards' pants … er, heart. I caught the tail end of the story, but what I had heard was even better than in the library.

"Jasper," Ah, so this was _the_ Jasper Masen. I could see why Alice adored him, but it was also very obvious that he adored Alice just as much, maybe more.

"He was so devastated ... that Edward … wouldn't pull ... the ribbon!" she continued, laughing hysterically.

Jasper sputtered with laughter. Once he had caught his breath, he agreed by saying he wouldn't have pulled it either.

"Oh Jazz, it was priceless." She took a deep breath and wiped her eye as if she had been crying. I smiled politely at her as I sat, not wanting to interrupt their conversation.

"This is Bella by the way, the one I told you about" Glancing at me. Maybe it was me, but something about the way she said my name made it sound like there was a hidden agenda. Something I didn't know that the both of them did.

Jasper looked at me with his green eyes and smiled, but much like Alice had earlier, he seemed to take me in. As if sizing me up. But those thought swiftly left my mind as his smile grew. There was something about the smile that seemed very familiar, but still different. It was too…. Straight? Yes. It should be a little crooked and it'd be perfect.

_Just like him._

"Hello, Bella." He said courteously. "Alice tells me you two met not long ago?"

I nodded, a little dazed and smiled back at him. Jasper's smile may not be better than _his_, but it was still quite dizzying.

"Wow. And you're still here? You must be very brave." he joked. He turned towards Alice, just in time to see her tongue sticking out at him. He smiled bigger.

"What he means to say, Bella, is that it's nice to meet you and that we both hope to see you around more." She said while not breaking his eye contact with a rather large smile on her face, as well, giggling slightly.

"It's nice to meet you, too, Jasper." I said. They were still gazing at each other and suddenly, I felt as if I was intruding on a private moment.

He leaned in to her side and started whispering to her. I tried my best not to listen. But obviously, Jasper was not fluent in secrets. I looked down and started playing with my phone. Pretending to check a text message I didn't really have.

"I think you're right, Ali." He said softly, yet still too clearly. "Of course, we'd have to be more careful. You know how he overreacts when we try to .. help him out. You remember last time?" he shuddered.

"I couldn't pitch for two weeks last time" he continued while looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"Later Jazz. I know it'll happen. It's all I can see." she smiled slyly at him and quickly dismissed the secret topic.

"So Bella," Alice returned to her normal, cheery tone. "Would you want to come to dinner with all of us tonight? Or do you have plans?" She asked, suddenly looking unsure.

I thought for a minute. It couldn't hurt to meet all of the Masens' and Brandons' could it? It'd be nice to have some friends here, and if they were anything like Alice said, we'd get along great. I did have another class today, but that would be over at 4:15 at the latest. What the heck, what else would I do? Facebook? _No way. Not tonight!_

"Yeah, that'd be great!" I said, excited.

We exchanged numbers and I told her what time I'd be out of class. She looked at the area code from my number and frowned slightly.

"Bella, where are you from? I've never seen this code before?" she asked. It sounded a little tense.

_Why would an area code make someone tense? You're being stupid, Bella._

"Oh… I'm from Arkansas." I looked down at my shoes. A little hick town in Arkansas. A little hick town that I didn't want to be reminded of anymore today.

"Really?" she sounded intrigued. She'd probably be wondering why I wasn't barefoot and pregnant or some other ridiculous stereotype people have of the South. "You don't have an accent."

That wasn't a question.

"Nope. I escaped without one. I'm actually the only one in my family without one. I lucked out" I laughed, hoping the subject would be closed. Honestly, I was lucky to be without. It used to make me feel left out, saying the odd things that only Southerners say, but it not sounding right. But now, it would only help me blend in and I was thankful for that.

I said a quick goodbye to Jasper and Alice said she'd call after class if I didn't call first. But before I walked out the door, she caught me in a hug goodbye. I was stunned. I haven't let anyone touch me since dad left. It wasn't really intentional, but physical forms of affection just made me cringe afterward. Alice was just so friendly that I guess I was caught with my guard down. I walked back to my car and I was shocked to find that the hug wasn't awkward or as uncomfortable I assumed it would be. It felt like hugging a sister. It was nice.

Class ended early and the end couldn't have come sooner. The professor seemed to be very cut and dry, what you see is what you get, and overly dull. His syllabus was split into "DO IT" and "DON'T DO IT". That part was okay. What was not okay was the creeper next to me. He sat alarmingly close to me and would leer at me every time the professor would say the phrase "do it". The last "do it", he even raised his eyebrow at me and passed me his number. Luckily, just then Professor Hale muttered a quick dismissal and I literally ran out of the room … leaving the creepers number behind me on the desk.

Still jogging out of the building, I looked back to ensure that I wasn't being followed. Good. No one seemed to be behind me. Well, no one that made my skin crawl, at least. I turned back just in time to see the swiftest glimpse of his face and his wide, shocked eyes before our bodies collided and crashed to the ground.

_Son of a mother!!!_

I was horrified. I was absolutely frozen and my eyes were squeezed so tightly that it was starting to hurt.

I landed on him.

Not near him.

Not even beside him.

Oh no. No … _no_.

I landed _on_ him. Not only that, but I landed on _him_. Out of all the people in the world … out of all the people at Arizona fucking State … that I could have used my body as a battering ram against and land on top of, like he was my own personal pillow (of course, if he _wanted_ to be my personal pillow ... I wouldn't mind.), it just had to be him. There was a hand near my lower back and one closer to my shoulder. To an outsider, it would look like a loving embrace. But to someone who had witnessed the truth of what happened -- they would know that he was probably just trying to find something to latch onto. I just was the only thing within reach.

I heard a low groan coming from underneath, however; neither of us had yet made a move to get up. I cautiously squinted through one eye, hoping to catch of glimpse of the expression he had on his face, praying with all my might he wouldn't be angry with me. To my surprise, his eyes were closed and a quiet smile was lingering on his attractive face, just like the one by the car earlier before lunch. He actually looked as if he had thoroughly enjoyed being tackled by an insane stranger. I opened my eyes the rest of the way and to get a closer look.

_He really did._ With his hands still in place, he really looked relaxed and completely at ease. He hadn't even bothered to open his eyes until I started to extract myself from him. When those vibrant green eyes snapped open, it seemed as if he had forgotten his surroundings.

As if one could forget that they were lying on their backs, in the middle of campus, with a girl on top of them. The moment our bodies broke free of each other, reality hit him. The look in his eyes changed and for a minute he looked like a little boy who just had his favorite toy stolen from him.

I stood up quickly. _Too quickly._ My head was spinning. Slowly, he stood up as well. I hadn't realized how tall he was.

_Fuck, he's gorgeous._ He continued to stare at me, a little frown on his face as he opened his mouth to say something. He was so close. His hair was blazing in the sun.

It was suddenly very hot.

"Oh god. I'm so sorry! … I can… I can't believe. I'm so sorry that I wasn't watching where I was going. I was runni—_crap_!" I started in. I averted my eyes when I found that looking at him turned me into a bumbling mess. I knew that the heat I was feeling wasn't just Arizona, that my face had to be a tomato. I took step back to give him his space (a chance to flee, if you will), but as I did, he followed and took a step forward, his arm raised just slightly.

_What was that?_

I took another step and started to turn when he put his hand on my shoulder, stopping me.

Did he not want to go? Did he not want _me_ to go? Did he miss the feeling of my body pressed against him the way I did?

That'd be nice._ Highly unlikely. _I reminded myself._ But, still very nice._

I turned to face him fully, trying not to stare at the beautiful man that stood in front of me. For all I knew, he could think me as creepy as I thought the creeper in my last class. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

"Please, no apologies. I'm the one to blame. I saw you coming and I…I don't know what went wrong, but I..." he trailed off, not seeming to be able to find the words he wanted. Was he nervous?

"I'm glad I was there to, at - at least, break your fall," he chuckled slightly. Even if he was anxious, his voice was rich like velvet. I looked up at him with a questioning glance and was quite pleased to see his crooked smile and blush in place as well.

Huh. At least it wasn't just me. He looked down at his shoes and then slowly looked back into my eyes.

"I –uh, I've seen you around." He said, clearing his throat. The alluring blush continued to sneak out of his cheeks as he gained composure of himself, eventually returning his face to the wonderful color that rivaled my own paleness.

Of course he had seen me, I thought chagrined. I had stood up in front of the entire class and made a fool of myself during those stupid introductions. _His_ blush may be retreating; mine however had come back full force. His lip twitched and his smile grew a bit wider.

"Yeah, I… I think you may be in my sociology class…?" I answered trying to act as if I hadn't basically drooling all over myself from looking at him during said class.

"I'm Edward by the way." He stuck his pale hand out as if to shake. "We did those introductions in class, I know. But I must say that I was a bit distracted and sadly missed your name." he chuckled. The sound of even his slight laughter was comfortably warm and wrapped around me like the best kind of hug. No sound could ever compare.

"It's Bella. Well, technically it's Isabella, but … Bella." I tried to cut my rambles off in time. I raised my hand up to his to answer his friendly gesture but when our hands connected, my breath caught. An electrical spark shot through me. _Did he feel that?_ If he did, he showed no indication, but he smiled big at my name and mouthed it as if committing it to memory.

"Well, Bella," It was my turn to smile big as I realized how wrong I was. I didn't just want to hear his melodious laughter; I wanted to hear _my_ name from his lips everyday of forever. The sound of my name coming out of his mouth was perfection. He looked down at his feet again, his blush brighter than ever.

"Now that you've tackled me, maybe you'd… want to join me for dinner?" His glowing eyes, fixated on mine, seemed to burn with green fire. I'd officially die happy. I looked down as well in an attempt to control the ridiculous joy that was threatening to erupt from my body. When my eyes returned to his dazzling face, I was startled and thrilled to see his excited, green orbs were still fixated on my unremarkable brown ones.

_Yes! Absolutely, let's go!_ My inner self was doing somersaults and flips that I could never actually pull-off. I couldn't help the smile that came to my face. This boy – no, not boy– this _man _wanted to eat with me. To spend time with me! _**Him.**_ The gorgeous one from class. From the parking lot. The reason I nearly mauled a poor landscaper on my first trip to campus. He was looking at me again with a full fledged, handsomely, crooked smile on his face. _Oh, his eyes!_ I thought for the second time today.

Why? Why would _he_ want me?

Apparently, I hadn't answered soon enough. He lifted his hand and lightly grabbed my hand, forcing my eyes back to his on contact. Again, a slight shock reverberated through my body as if saying "SAY YES! SAY YES!!!" He smiled once more.

"Bella, come to dinner with me." He implored, searching my face, staring into my soul, waiting for my answer. I could feel his hand wrapped around mine. His thumb was softly moving in calm circles on the back of my hand. I looked down towards our hands and I was dazed. His pale skin holding onto mine looked like it was made to be. It looked like perfection. I felt my mouth go dry at the thought of never getting a chance to hold his hand again. I looked back into his eyes.

"I... I would really like that, but.. I" I desperately tried to come up with the right words to express how desperately, but not too desperately, I wanted to go with him. Alice Brandon! I cursed my newest and only friend.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I have plans." I said wistfully, the buoyant smile had fully left my face with the words I had to say to him. I looked at my feet again. This time, however, it was in disappointment rather than rapture.

"Oh." His smile faltered and his delightful eyes left my face. He slowly let go of my hand and his expression changed. Was he mad? No… that wasn't it. He looked as if he had been rejected? Rejected? _Ha! Surely, this god-like man didn't believe I was rejecting him?!_ I thought incredulously. I don't think it's possible for anyone to not want him.

"No worries. I …just wanted to… uh- make up for the whole… collision." He looked away, looking for an escape.

"Maybe another time?" It came out almost as a plea. I had wanted to show him that it was honestly just bad timing. He didn't say anything, but the red in his cheeks were back. He looked into my eyes once more, searching for something, and started to turn to walk away. _No! _What did he see that made him walk away? I had blown it. I had blown the only half-chance that this divine man had almost given me, would ever give me. I was pained by the thought.

"Edward, please, wait..." I pleaded in a soft voice. I found that my hand had automatically risen itself, reaching out for him. My skin was practically crying for his contact again. He looked back at me when I said his name with a new, beautiful emotion locked in.

"I've got plans _tonight_, though I'm free tomorrow? I'd really like to get a rain check?" _Oh, please give me another chance!_ Why would he give me another chance? Look at him! He could have anyone on this campus and here I am saying, 'Sure, maybe later'. I'm insane. Alice would understand, right?

"Or maybe… I could reschedule tonight? She would totally understand." I gave him a timid smile. The proverbial ball was now in his court.

His eyes brightened into something wonderful, hopeful, and almost excited. The left side of his face pulled up a little. But just as soon as it had appeared, it was gone. His expression changed. The disappointment and rejection was back. Once again, he reminded me of the little boy who lost his toy.

"It's fine. I shouldn't make you change your plans." He said looking down. Then offhandedly added, "To be honest, I was trying to get out of a family dinner of sorts." He was looking past me now, suddenly very interested in something going on behind me. I felt my hopeful expression fall.

_Ouch_. Really? That's the only reason why? I wanted to ask him. But my subconscious quickly answered for him: _Of course, that's why Bella. Look at you. The only reason why he started talking to you in the first place was because you tackled him to the ground._

Just then, Hedwig's theme went off from my phone.

That must be Alice. Suddenly, my time with him was cut short. I could ignore it… it could be possible that class wasn't out quite yet.

I looked up at him. I don't know what I was looking for really… I guess anything that would say that would tell me what he was thinking. He wasn't looking at me any longer. His eyes were trained on what looked like a little house. I couldn't quite place his expression but his eyebrows were crunched and it looked as if he were biting the inside of his cheek. Hands shoved his deep into his pockets; he let out a breath, nodded almost infinitesimally, and turned to face me. His lips were parted and he looked as if he were about to say something.

The bells went off as my phone rang again. This time, I actually groaned out loud. _Go. Away._

"I guess I should take this…" I trailed off, hoping he'd change his mind and give me the best night of my life.

No such luck.

"Sure... I'll see you in class, Bella." he said softly, wistfully.

"I'll see you Edward. I'm sorry again… for running into you." I blushed as my eyes met his, feeling wistful as well.

_Gorgeous. Why does he have to be so gorgeous?_

I would gladly run into him any day. He gave me a small, slightly dejected smile and walked quickly out of sight. I let out a miserable sigh before I flipped my phone open to find out what was keeping me away from Edward tonight.

____________________

Alice had insisted that she come to my apartment to get us ready. I started to give her directions and she interrupted, saying she knew exactly where it was.

I didn't think anything about her coming _here_ until she walked in and started to look around. Suddenly, I was embarrassed that I hadn't finished unpacking.

"You just moved in?" she appraised as she gave herself the tour, with my lagging behind her.

"Yep. I think I've been here couple of weeks." I answered trying not to sound uncomfortable.

"Great!" she smiled. She stopped and turned to face me. "I can help you unpack and decorate, if you want. Did I tell you I'm going into interior design and fashion? We can paint and get some shades. The sun here is brutal, these shades won't hide the morning sun…" she eagerly looked around the bare living room, coming up with ideas I'm sure.

"That'd be brilliant, Alice. Thanks!" Thank God. It'd be easier to unpack the pictures with a distraction. Maybe this apartment won't be so barren after all.

With that, she got to work on me. She picked out something from my closet and asked if I had ever straightened my hair. I looked at her confused.

"Alice, my hair is already straight."

_____________________

After what seemed like hours later, we were in my mustang, pulling into a parking spot in the front of a restaurant called Oregano's.

"I'm so excited for you to meet everyone! Bella, they're so eager to meet you." She mumbled something else about a "he", but I didn't quite catch it so I blew it off.

"Yeah, I bet. So far, I have a great track record with your friends." I mumbled gloomily, still bummed about my should-be dinner plans with the angel of Arizona State.

"Oh, Mike-schmike! Don't worry about him. He just saw how insanely beautiful were and got jealous. I think he may have even had a straight moment," she winked with a mischievous grin plastered on her face.

"Besides, you did great with Jasper," she smiled widely at his name.

We were the first of the group to arrive. I stood off to the side twisting my ring around my finger (a habit I developed immediately after Renee had given me this ring) as Alice talked to the hostess as if they knew each other. I watched as Alice slipped the girl a bill and asked if we could be seated right away. The girl looked at her skeptically and told Alice the house policy. It was something about waiting for everyone in the party to be present before being seated. Alice interrupted her gently, reminding her of a favor the girl supposedly owed her.

The girls' eyes widened and she bit her lip, looking around, as if to check if the coast was clear.

"Fine, but this is the first and last time I do this for you, Alice Brandon!" she said, quickly in a low tone.

"Thanks, Heidi!" Alice chirped, smiling triumphantly. "You know the rest of the group, they'll be here any minute."

Heidi led us over to a round table in a corner and told us our waitress, Tanya, would be with us soon. As Heidi left, I saw a slight smirk on her face at Alice's slight intake of breath at the waitresses name. However, before I even thought to breach the subject, Alice herded me into the chair that sat directly in the corner.

"You had your chance. There's no escaping now," she joked, trying to hide her seriousness, as she sat down on my left side. Successfully trapping me like an animal into the corner.

Would I _need_ to escape? Did she think this would be unpleasant for me? I tried to push these slightly frightening thoughts away and gave her an unsure smile.

Jasper was the first to arrive. He kissed Alice on the cheek as he sat down on the other side of her small frame; he looked up smiled widely at me.

"I see you survived Alice's crash course to getting ready?" he chuckled. I smiled kindly; still nervous from the odd comment Alice had made, nodded, and let them fall into another hushed conversation. _They really do this a lot. _Maybethat's what you do in relationships. Whisper.

_Hmmm… I wouldn't mind whispering to Edw… _stop it! _No more thinking of him tonight, missy._ I frowned slightly as I scolded myself.

"Jazz, where _is_ he? He was supposed to be with you. You said he was coming!! He _is_ coming, isn't he?" Alice asked, sounding a little more than miffed.

"Calm down, Al. Yes. He'll be here. Emmett and Rose sent me ahead. Emmett is quite literally dragging him here as we speak." He laughed and leaned in closer to her. Again, in a poor attempt to whisper, he continued in a low voice "He seriously tried to get out of it. He claims he's met someone and he's insisting that he wants no one else. He said that this would be a ridiculous waste of time."

They both glanced up at me. Jasper looked a bit unsure, but Alice was convinced.

"Well, won't he be surprised." Alice whispered back and grinned impishly.

I suddenly understood how this could be unpleasant. It was a set-up. With a boy.

_She just met me!_ Literally, only hours ago I accidentally humiliated a love-sick Mike who failed to woo his … his …_what was his name…_ and now she's putting me up with some guy?!

Oh god.

I said no to _him_ for this. I felt my brow smush together and I felt as if my face had drained.

I couldn't spend time with _Edward_, because I was being set-up with another guy? My hands contracted into fists and the spot on my right hand… the hand held by Edward seemed to burn. I turned to Alice with my eyes squinted in irritation.

No. Squinted in _rage_.

Before I could say anything, a very pretty, overly curvy waitress came up to our table and introduced herself as Tanya. I watched as Alice clenched her jaw slightly at the "stealthily" evaluated Jasper as a small smirk flashed across her plump lips. This didn't go as unnoticed by Alice as it did Jasper.

_Good_. I thought nastily. _At least I'm not the only one annoyed, now._

She flipped her strawberry-blonde hair over her shoulder and leaned across the table, effectively giving Jasper quite the view of her large chest. Biting the tip of her pen, she asked Jasper for his drink order. He asked for a water with lime, not even looking up from his menu. _Good man, Jasper._ Tanya then looked at me with a look of total disinterest as I asked for a coke. When the orders got around to Alice, who seemed to be deliberately asked last, ordered a "red-headed slut" with quite a bit of venom in her voice. I felt my eyes go large and I glanced over at Alice, whose ears were steadily turning pink. Tanya looked as if she were about to ask for ID when Jasper stopped her, ordering another water, but with no lime. She had obviously missed the punch line. Tanya winked at him and left to fill our order with an extra sway in her step. A look of understanding graced Jaspers' face. I tried to muffle my laughs when I started to giggle softly at the realization on his face, afraid that Alice's anger might get pushed onto me. Luckily, Alice's stony glare softened when she too saw Jaspers face and she started to giggle with me.

"God, she is such a skeeze." Alice said under her breath. "Heidi is going to – "

"Emmett, there really isn't any point to this… OUCH! Let go of me. Rose! Tell him to let go!" a livid, strained voice met my ears, efficiently cutting off Alice.

"Uh oh. They're here. He's not happy." Alice started bopping her knee as if she were nervous. Jasper murmured his I-told-you-so's and the pixie shot him a look of displeasure.

"Eddie, just shut up and walk. You're getting a free meal out of this, if nothing else," a robust voice answered his plea.

So there was no escape for him, either. He was being set-up and he was no happier about it than I was. At least I didn't have to put forth effort. I secretly smiled at the thought of who I'd put in effort for. I looked up and was quite shocked to see that very person being dragged by a burly monster towards our table.

"Alice! What did you say Jaspers' brothers' name was?" I asked, slightly panicked.

"Edward." She said looking in my eye, evaluating my reaction to him. She must have seen something she liked in what I thought was an uneasy expression because she started smiling brilliantly. I looked to Jasper for help.

"Hey, Edward," he called out, "you're seating over here. Right next to our new friend, _Bella_," Jasper said as if his brother wasn't being hauled in by an enormous sack of muscles. _Yeah, thanks for the help, jerk._

Edward stopped resisting and looked up with an irked expression at his older brother when Jasper had said my name.

"Yeah, Jazz, that's fuckin-" His venomous voice was immediately frozen the instant his eyes met mine. His eyes grew wide and his glorious face paled before his cheeks suddenly burned bright.

"Shit." He swore as he closed his eyes. I kept my eyes locked on him. I couldn't look away. I could feel Alice's eyes boring into my skin. I felt others staring at me also, but my eyes saw nothing but him.

"Are you… Are you blushing, Edward?" the leggy blonde, Rosalie, next to him asked sounding a little startled.

"Well, well Rosie. Look at that," Emmett said softly. "He meant it."

Meant what?

Edward's beautiful face snapped to lock his eyes with the giants'. "Emmett. For the love of God!

For once. Shut. Your. Mouth." he snarled. He looked almost lethal. Even murderously angry, he looked perfect. Like a god. Terrible power and overwhelming beauty all wrapped up together.

Alice thought this would work? That he would be interested in _me_? Wait… Jasper had said he had met someone. Why did she keep this going after Jasper had said he found someone? Edward's earlier reservations were right. This was pointless. It was cruel.

I broke my stare from the desire of my eyes and I forced myself to look at Alice, seeing for the first time a timid, almost nervous expression that she was watching me with. She was weighing my reaction to him. My eyes tightened once more.

How could she throw her friends into this? How could she throw a relative stranger into this situation? Just a group dinner, that's one thing. But a blind date was vastly different. Especially one where only one participant knows and said participant doesn't want to participate.

Edward. The beautiful one who I couldn't extract from my head if I wanted to. The one I had unceremoniously taken down while running away from a creeper. The one that made me blush and that blushed in return. The one who I had instantly been taken with. The one with the smoldering eyes and the hair I wanted to touch. The one that refused Mike's numerous, very disturbing advances. The one Alice had grown up with and loved as a brother. The one from all her stories. The one who I had turned down, just a couple of hours ago and I spoiled my half-chance with in order to be shoved into this very situation. The one who was currently being shoved my way.

Emmett pushed Edward into the corner with me and sat down, successfully blocking the other exit. We were both stuck. Like caged animals. I had heard Jasper mention, when I "wasn't listening" that Edward didn't want to be here. That he wanted someone else. This could only hurt me. This would be a disaster.

…_A disaster with a nice view._

My face was hot, as it had been since I saw him locked in Emmett's iron-like grasp. My eyes darted to his face without my permission. His face was down, toward his lap, his eyes were closed, and it looked as if he was pinching the bridge of his nose. Was he mad or trying to get a hold of himself?_ He could get a hold of me if he wants… _I took in a deep breath in an attempt to divert my current thoughts and calm myself. That turned out to be a bad idea. He smelled good. Even from my very separate, distant chair.

Jasper introduced me to Rose and Emmett. Rosalie smiled but she was sizing me up and looking doubtful, but Emmett on the other hand, accepted me almost as immediately and fully as Alice had. He actually pushed Edward into me while he bounded over to give me a bear hug. Rosalie grabbed his polo shirt before he had gotten to me and pulled him back to his seat. Emmett complained for a short second while Edward and I both readjusted ourselves in our chairs. I, once again, found myself missing his body being forced against mine. The strange, electrical pulse from earlier was back and if felt like you could cut the air between the two of us. _God, this is awkward._

"Bella, I'd like you to met my friend, Edward Masen. Edward, this is Bella Swan." Alice spoke up. I looked at his face, straight forward while Edward glared past me at both Alice and Jasper, his jaw clenching and unclenching. His eyes darted to mine and softened. Quickly, I looked away, feeling a new wave of blush hit my face as he took me in.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella." he said in a low, attractive voice.

"I think the pleasure's all mine." I said quietly as I stared holes into my empty plate.

I glanced around the restaurant, slyly taking in the others at the table, but partly just trying to look anywhere but him. Rosalie looked slightly miffed, Emmett was pouting while his eyes flashed between Edward and me, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Jasper take a worried look at Alice, but she just returned his gaze with a reassuring smile.

* * *

**What used to be chapters 2 and 3 are now combined. I think it flows a bit better. More detail has been added, stupid things have been taken out. There's an ASU map on my front page if you're curious.**

**I hope you enjoy it. I'm working hard to edit the next chapter so I can hurry up and write the rest for you. Let me know what you think.**

**Thanks so much :) Happy Saint Patricks day!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Tuesday and Friday, August 26****th**** (continued) and 27****th****:**

He was beautiful and so very close to me. He smelled of sunshine and grass and something else I couldn't quite make out. Whatever it was though was absolutely perfect. I could feel the heat from his pale skin radiating onto my arm. Our chairs were smushed together and we were shoved into an almost intimate arrangement. One that was normally unacceptable for strangers. However, Emmett had made a big fuss about how Edward was making him feel claustrophobic. I had tried to scoot over in order to give him more room, but Alice's chair seemed to be glued to the spot. I wanted to give him his space. I didn't want him to feel any more uncomfortable than he already was. The whole situation was awkward so I continued to stare into my empty plate and he remained silent.

Luckily, Tanya had finally returned for the rest of the order, giving us a reprieve from the tight silence we had all been sitting in. Thankful for the distraction, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. _Buck up, Chicken. _My dad's voice sounded like he was actually in the room speaking these words to me. I smiled at the phrase and exhaled. I opened my eyes feeling a little refreshed and decided that it didn't matter that this was insanely awkward. I could try to make the best of it… maybe we could team up and try to have fun. It didn't matter that this god didn't want me. He had been nice to me earlier. After this dinner, I would go about my life having met new people and he could go on with his, being with the one he wanted.

And we would just be friends.

I bit back the frown that was threatening the corners of my lips and made the choice to break my lingering stare from my plate. I was mentally ready for the night. I was ready smile. I was ready to laugh. I was ready to make new friends. I was ready to open my mouth and make a light side note to Edward, showing him that the night would go quicker if we tried to make the best of it.

What I was _not_ ready for was seeing Tanya shoving herself into the ridiculously small corner with Edward and I, flirting shamelessly with him. This unambiguous act was far worse than her smirk at Jasper; poor Edward looked as if he had been marked as prey. Although Tanya's attempts were very obviously one-way, the way she was acting was considered rude… at least it was where I come from.

Her body was leaning towards Edward, who was forcing his body to lean into mine in attempt to maintain some of his important personal space while consequently completely ignoring mine. His face looked as if it were fighting to stay polite. The slight frown that had been on his face since before he entered the restaurant had deepened, but I'm not sure that anyone else had noticed. His eyes looked slightly panicked as he peeked around the table, pleading for anyone to save him from the top-heavy waitress who looked like she was about to eat him as a snack. I was shocked to see that no one batted an eye at Edwards' discomfort.

Suddenly, a spurt of homesickness shot all the way through my body. Is this how people treat others in this state?

"Well, what's your name, sugar?" asked an unattractive, fake Southern accent. The sound made my head snap to look at her. I was just in time to witness her over-sized breasts being smashed into his arm. White heat flickered just under my skin and I was overwhelmingly irritated at her. My anger, though, was not directed at her horrible attempt at an accent as it probably should have been. She was, after all, vocally disfiguring my heritage with the worst attempt of seduction ever. No. My anger was flaring due to the fact she was shoving her ridiculously comical fake chest into a poor, obviously horrified males face.

Normally, I would have been shocked that I found myself far more offended by her attempt to entice him than the butchering of my heritage. But there was something pure about Edward. There was something about him that I wanted to defend.

I felt my fists as they clenched convulsively as she drew even closer to him even though his face clearly showed the evidence that he wanted no part in it.

"I… uh. I'm –" he stammered still searching for the help that didn't seem to be coming. Why wouldn't they help their friend and brother out? Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper were desperately trying to hold their laughter in. Alice, on the other hand, simply looked at me with a cocked eyebrow, as if she were waiting for my next move. Waiting to see what I would do. I clenched my jaw, angry that they would let their friend suffer.

Luckily, I was fairly literate in awkward situations. Thanks to my dad and Jacob, I had learned to be quick on my toes and witty enough to hold my own… at least I was witty back home. But wasn't sure if that meant anything here. I quickly looked into the menu and ran my hand through his silken hair to get his attention. Cassie, a good friend from high school had given me many impromptu lessons on how to get attention from males. If I had learned anything from Cassie's many drabbles on "How to Woo a Man", playing with his hair was an intimate thing. It supposedly drove men (definition of "men" for Cassie: the boys in our high school) crazy "in the best way possible".

Carefully and slowly, I walked my fingers up to where his bronze strands met the collar of his shirt. Lightly twirling his hair through my fingers, I reached my other arm to meet his hand that was gripping the back of his chair. I rested my small, white hand on top of his and rubbed my thumb against the back of his large, pale hand.

"Edward." I let his name reverently roll off my tongue in a poor version of the velvety voice from earlier in the day. He quickly turned to face me with a look of grateful surprise, obviously not expecting _me_ to be the one to help him out as we hadn't spoken a single word to each other since Alice had "introduced" us. I tried to remain calm as I realized how incredibly close his face was to mine. I tried not to thank Tanya for crowding him so much that his lips were within reach. I couldn't, however, hold the smile back that his faces closeness had caused, nor could I hold back the quick trip my eyes took to his lips. I continued to play with his bronze strands and hold his hand as I fabricated my story out loud.

"_Sugar_," I looked up at Tanya to make sure she heard before looking back at Edward, continuing my con. "Before we go all the way _home_, I think we should get a pizzookie again?" I watched his face carefully. His right eyebrow raised, but his face remained pleasant. I was thankful he was allowing me to try to help. As I closed the distance between us, I prayed that he wouldn't mind this next little bit.

"Do you remember last time you brought one home? You looked absolutely _delicious_ with ice cream and chocolate spread _all_ over you …" I trailed off suggestively, blushing at what I was implying. Slightly leaning into him, my hand moved down from his hair lightly tracing his perfect jaw line and trailing his neck, to fix his already straight collar, trying to not only convince bimbo over there of a lie to get her to back off but also for him to play along. For good measure, I stared at him from under my lashes and bit my lip (another trick I had heard from Cassie), hoping he would understand without words. My blush started to warm my face as I replayed the words that had come out of my mouth. I had literally just implied to a stranger, in front of his family and closest friends, that we have had sex. Not just regular sex, either. Sex that involved ice cream and a half baked cookie being smothered all over Edward's gorgeous, pale bod- _Focus, Bella!!_

I shiver ran down my spine at the picture I was trying to force out of my head. I managed to stay in character and maintain eye contact as I watched his bright green eyes darkened as he stared back at me. An involuntary shiver ran down my spine and I felt my underwear become moist. _FOCUS!_ My blush grew as he lifted his hand up to my face, cupping my cheek as naturally as he had done it a hundred times. I leaned in, as any lover would, and reveled in his gentle touch. I was rather excited at the prospect that we would have to keep these pretenses up every time Tanya appeared. Prayers started forming in my mind, asking God that she would be here quite often. I did, however, have to push away the thought of how this little game of ours could potentially hurt me.

"My love, can I ever say no to you? Whatever you want… _however_ you want… it's yours." His eyes were filled with want and his reply was playful and loving. And he said it just loud enough for skankzilla to hear.

_God, he's good._

He was the perfect actor, performing with feeling and intensity that left me in awe. He left me wanting more, as always. To my surprise, he didn't stop there. He closed the gap between us with pink cheeks and grazed his nose along my jaw line. My breath caught and I was dizzy with his closeness, his smell, and his warmth. There was a quiet "mmmm" sound that rose from between us. I couldn't be sure, but I was almost positive it wasn't from me. I closed my eyes in pleasure. It would have been the perfect move for our façade, but only I had to know that it wasn't just for show. Once he got up to my ear, he breathed something to me. I strained to hear.

"You're all I've ever wanted." He had whispered so low that I could barely make it out, but I was quite positive that's what he said.

My eyes shot open. Suddenly, the moment was real. We were no longer playing to shoo- away in response to an unwanted advance.

Jasper cleared his throat to let us know Tanya and her chest had gone. Edward detached his hand and straightened up, immediately breaking our eye contact. He went back to doing exactly what he had been before. Staring into his plate, not saying a word, face paled, and chewing on the inside of his lip. I, on the other hand, took longer to get out of character. I blinked a few times, attempted to rid myself of my flushed cheeks, wanted to forget how his hand felt on my face, wanted to forget those incredible fake words he said, and tried to steady my breathing.

_It was a show that you initiated._ I reminded myself, angry that moisture was now building in my eyes. _It was a show that felt entirely too real._

My pride was starting to hurt and I wasn't about to stop it. I had just humiliated myself for him. I had just implied slightly disgusting things in front of people he had known his whole life… there was no "thank you", there wasn't even a smile. Just back to ignoring. Today had been like a rollercoaster with him and his mood swings were giving me whiplash. He was so beautiful and good one minute, acting like he wanted to be near me, acting as if he wanted me; then suddenly cold and detached, ignoring my existence the next. I couldn't keep up, but I wanted to and I had tried. Those words he said to me, the way he said them. I had actually believed the pretense because it honestly sounded as if he _meant_ them. And if he didn't, why would he say it so only _I_ could hear it? If he was simply pretending to be whispering sweet-nothings in my ear to keep up the pretense, he could have just prattled on about the weather. Not string me along like some puppy, begging for a bone. I didn't need this. I didn't have to do this. Fuck being friends. Who needs friends anyway?! The anger was steadily rising with my blush and I needed to get out.

I stood and turned to Alice, looking for a getaway. She sat in her chair, suddenly very interested in a text-message. I glared for half a minute and then turned towards Edward. His chair was empty. _Good, maybe he'll be cornered by Tanya._ I thought, disgusted by the whole situation.

I stormed out without another word to anyone. I got to my car and wrenched the door open. I fought angry tears the whole way home. Within no time, I was back in my bare apartment with stupid tears still falling down my face. My anger hadn't fizzled out but the day had worn me down into pathetic sniffles and pitiful thoughts of home. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to wake up from a stupid dream in my bedroom in Arkansas. I wanted my dad to smile over the paper at me in the morning, allowing me to grumble about it being too early and him being too chipper. I wanted to go to Wal-Mart when I was bored, I wanted to walk in the woods, I wanted to live in a place where I didn't have to worry if I had locked my front door.

I woke up the next morning in my bed. My pillow was damp and my eyelids were heavy. I had apparently cried myself to sleep for the first time in a few months. As I dragged myself into the bathroom to shower, the events of the previous night began to replay. I leaned against the shower wall and slid down until I was sitting. With my head in my hands, I cursed my luck. I cursed the situation. I cursed stupid Tanya and her stupid flirting ways. I cursed Alice for forcing me to go. I cursed Edward for being able to have this effect of me. I cursed myself for trying to help someone out and being effected. I cursed Edward again, just because. I cursed Arizona for being hot, and stupid, and dry. I curse...

_UGH! Just get over it, Bella!_

I felt my jaw clench in determination and slowly I stood back up to finish my shower. Some boy wasn't going to ruin another one of my days because he wasn't available for me. Boys had never had this effect on me before, what the hell gives him the right to make me feel like this now? Who the fuck does he think he is?

When I stepped out of the shower, I was done with the whole situation. I didn't care and I wasn't going to worry about it another second longer. I could drop the class he was in and I could continue my first semester at Arizona State without another thought of that pompous asshole.

****

My phone beeped again. Informing me of yet another text message from Alice. She had stopped calling around noon and now was sending me a text every 10 minutes on the dot. I hadn't bothered to check them yet, but I was getting curious as to what they said. It didn't really matter. It was a total shit thing that she did, forcing her life-long friend and someone she had barely even known into a horrendous situation.

Half an hour later, I cracked. I looked at some of the texts. I have to admit, some of them were pretty funny. She had apparently stopped apologizing around one when she started to describe how Tanya treated Edward the rest of the night after his "knight-ette in shining armor" vanished into thin air. I have to admit, the one when Tanya brought him a pizzokie at the end of the night along with her phone number was pretty much the best thing I had ever heard. Still, I wasn't planning on answering her just yet.

Of course, I hadn't counted on her knocking on my door.

She flitted into my living room, carrying a large box of donuts.

"These would have been better if you had answered your phone at 6 this morning. Donuts that have been sitting out for the last 10 hours aren't as good as they are fresh." She said happily. I just stared at her, not sure what to say.

"Oh Bella." She sighed. "I'm not sure where to start. I don't want you to think that we're normally like that. Last night was tense and awkward. Edwa-" I stopped her, cutting her off.

"Tense and awkward?" I nearly shrieked. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Channelling my anger, I began to pace the small space in front of the sofa. "Alice, how could you _do_ that? You don't know me! How could you put me in a position like that? How do you know I don't have a boyfriend or fiancé back home? How do you know I'm not a lesbian? How do you kn-"

"Bella, sweetie, it's just obvious. I don't mean to sound rude, but I was in your apartment yesterday. I was around you for several hours, there's no ring on your finger, there aren't any pictures around the apartment. And to be honest, the second I saw you, I knew you the right one for Edward. He may seem like a major dick to you right now, and believe me, he won't live that down for the rest of his life. But he's not usually like that.. outside of Mike. He's worse with Mike," she paused to giggle. "He's actually a really great guy, he just… needs a push now and again."

"Have you ever thought that he doesn't _want_ a push?" my voice was much louder than I had originally wanted it to be. I saw Alice's blue eyes widen. "Or maybe you should push him into someone who he _wants_ to be pushed into? And not someone you just met? Dammit, Alice! I had already embarrassed myself in front of him yesterday without your help." I finally sat down next to her. I had calmed myself, but with the mention of the events before dinner, I felt my face redden again. I was longing for the run in again, the feel of his body against mine, wondering what would have happened had I just said 'yes' to him and called to cancel with Alice. It surely wouldn't have been as disasterous. Even if he didn't want me, we probably could have easily been friends.

"Yesterday? Before dinner, you mean?" Alice's voice was curious.

"Yeah… I sort of mowed him down." I said meekly. I looked over to Alice and noticed the strange look on her face.

"So you had seen Edward before?"

"Mmhmm. A couple of times actually. He's in one of my classes." I didn't add that I was planning on dropping the class to her. I didn't want her to attempt to talk me out of it. She continued to look perplexed.

"Bella, can I make last night up to you?" she asked quietly. Her voice was timid, there was no confidence in it as there had been yesterday when she had invited me to coffee, or dinner. She was actually leaving it up for me to decide, not just assuming that I'd agree.

"I know the start we had as friends wasn't ideal. But like I told you earlier, we aren't normally like this. I'm really sorry about the way things turned out. I can see us being great friends and I don't want to lose you because of a stupid stunt that upset you." I studied her face. She looked sincere. And although she could be a little overwhelming, we did have fun together before dinner. I could see us being good friends, too.

"Sure, Alice. All's forgiven." I said, trying to give her a smile. Her returning grin was grateful and bright.

"So, what's your favorite movie?" she asked, getting up to look at my movie collection.

Several Harry Potter movies later, Alice stood. Stretching her small frame and topping it off with a yawn, she bid me goodnight with the promise of calling me the next afternoon and then she was gone.

Between Potter movies, we had discussed quite a lot. I was no longer going to drop a class just because of the situation with Edward. I figured if I was to be friends with Alice, we would have to be around each other. I tried to steer clear of home, just to avoid a long, drawn out talk that I wasn't really sure I was ready for yet. But she now knew of my run-ins with Edward, my basic favorites, and my awful fear of needles. I knew that she had accidentally caught fire to the Masen's cat when she was 8 due to a dare, she enjoyed painting, and her never-ending quest to set Edward up. Though, I had made her promise to never make me the set-up-ee again, there was something in her eyes when she swore to it... as if she were trying to find a loop-hole through the promise already.

I, too, got up and stretched. I picked up the mugs that had held our Ramen and put them in the sink. I locked the door and walked into the spare room. It was just my laptop and I on a Friday night. I quickly checked my email and scanned over some of the homework that I had for Monday morning. I played around on Facebook for a bit and saw that Alice had requested to be my friend. I flipped to her page, curious as to what all she had.

Thousands of pictures. Vacations, recitals, graduations, parties, and so many more. I scanned through the titles of the books and clicked on the ones that held my interest.

She was right. In every set of pictures, everyone was present. Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Edward. In every picture of the group of them, the couples were all paired up and Edward always had the same expression. Not quite happy, but not sad. Just a small half-smile.

As the dates went further back, the pictures became more humorous and less paired up. There was a pre-pubesant looking Emmett wearing a curly blonde wig and a light pink dress striking a hilarious pose. A scrawny looking Jasper with his lanky arm around his twin sister, Rosalie. A very awkward looking Alice and Edward looking away from each other.

My phone vibrated alerting me of a call and allowing me to finally looking away from a very handsome picture of a sweaty Edward, focused intently at the soccer ball above his head. I may not appreciate his attitude, but I could _sure_ appreciate his face. Checking the time quickly, I saw that it was 12:49.

_Who would call me this late?_ Surely Alice didn't have anything else she had to say to me tonight? She would wait for tomorrow… right? No one in Arkansas would be calling now with the time difference.

My phone had started on another vibration spree when I had finally reached it. I didn't recognize the number, so I didn't answer. I should be asleep anyway. If it was important, they'd leave a message. I walked back to my bedroom and got ready for bed. Before cuddling into my sheets, I checked the phone again to see if there was in fact a message waiting for me. No new voice mails. It was probably a wrong number.

* * *

**Oh goodness. Things have changed. In the story and in life.**

**First of all, thank you for your patience and words of encouragement. I'm glad you guys are still reading and waiting to hear what happens next.**

**Second of all, things in my life got super chaotic. There was death and school. It hasn't been a good spring, but summer is now here in Phoenix, which means theres lots of time for me not to be outside. Lots of time for me not to be doing anything else but writing.**

**I hope you like the changes. I hope it's not as rushed as it was before. I'm excited and I really hope you are, too.**

**Thanks and plan to hear from me sooner... hopefully :)**


	4. Chapter 4

_Neither Rebecca nor Twilight nor any of the characters belong to me… just in case you weren't sure._

**Saturday, August 28th**

Sleep was never really fun for me… not that it's necessarily barrels of fun for anyone else either, but… Well, when I was younger, it seemed as if I could never really sleep. Not for long anyway and definitely not peacefully. Its not that I was constantly subjected to nightmares or sleep terrors or those dreams where you lay in your bed feeling paralyzed – although, I have experienced them. It was nothing like that. I was normally caught in the place between waking and sleeping. Never fully awake, but never achieving sleep. That stage that Tinkerbell talks about in Hook – the one where she swears she'll always be waiting for Peter to come back to her. Only I had no Tinkerbell waiting for me.

No Peter, either.

Eventually, the problem got better. Just as the doctors had said: I grew out of it. Or at least that's what I led everyone to believe. There were still bad nights, they were just less frequent than before.

There are things I can avoid that will make the night go easier on me. Usually, being somewhere new disrupts my healthier sleep pattern, making it harder for me to get a full nights rest. But until last night, Tempe had proven itself to be be different. It wasn't the worst night that I've had, by any means, but it was the first one since I've moved. After the phone rang, I had been able to fall asleep fairly quickly. But my dreams were numerous and ridiculously vivid. The kind of dreams that make it hard to distinguish that they weren't true. Vivid dreams aren't really out of the ordinary for me. But the subject normally orbits around the day's events, high school, my dad, or something stupid like the back seat of my car having a built-in foot massager and Snuggie.

Last night's dreams had _nothing_ to do with Friday's events or my father. In fact, last night, my dreams… all of them… orbited one person. One person that I was particularly annoyed at. Annoyed at for his attitude, for his looks, for his glorious yet completely false words, and for the fact that my dreams last night had been the most intimate, exciting, freeing, and sensual experience of my life.

_And it wasn't even real._

Don't get me wrong, I've had _those_ kinds of dreams before. They've just never been that real.

To wake up in my bed, without him next to me as he had just been in my dream, well, that was the most frustrating thing. But the next most frustrating thing was that when I woke up, I wasn't quite sure what to do about it. I could take it into my own hands, but like I said, I've had those types of dreams before. Trying to manually relieve myself had never worked for me in the past. _No matter what I had done._ I highly doubted my body would just decide to work for me today.

I could go take a very cold shower and push down whatever ridiculous fantasies my subconscious had brought out during the night.

_Or, I could go hunt him down, strip, and beg him to fuck me until his name was the only thing I knew for sure. _

***

I stepped out of the shower, still shivering slightly from the icy water. Quickly, I changed into some old sweat pants and a hooded sweatshirt then I pulled my wet hair back as I padded my way to the kitchen to make a grilled cheese.

I lounged around for most of the day, reading the book that I had just started. I hadn't quite figured out how I felt about it just yet but the story was just beginning to get interesting. The nasty, old maid had just confirmed the nameless main character's suspicion that her new husband didn't love her. _Ouch._ That it was obvious to everyone that he was still very much in love with his late wife and he would never, could never love her. _Double ouch._ Mrs. Danvers, the evil maid, was suddenly intense and slightly frightening. She began talking about how the new Mrs. de Winter should kill her self when bells began to ring out of my phone, making me jump.

"Hello?" I breathed, a little shaken from the sudden interruption and a little miffed that I didn't know that Mrs. Danvers hadn't push the heroine down the stairs at Manderley.

"Bella!" Alice chirped into the phone, "I have the most fantastic idea!"

"Oh do you?" I replied, highly amused with her enthusiasm. I had no doubt that she had an idea. But her description made me laugh a little. I was quite sure there would be something less than fantastic about her most fantastic idea.

"Of course, I do. We're having a sort-of party and I'd really love it if you could come." She said sweetly. And just like the night before, she left the option up to me. I could say no if I felt led to.

"A sort-of party?" I questioned, feeling hesitant. "What exactly is a 'sort-of' party?"

"Well, it's Em's birthday. It's not going to be huge deal or anything. It'd be a great chance to meet people in a non-threatening environment, one in which you could leave at any moment you wish. There's food and beer …and caaaake." Alice was stressing the last word for my benefit. She had discovered my weakness for cake the night before. I should have known she'd use that to her advantage.

"That… and I'd really like to start apologizing to you sooner, rather than later. You don't even have to come if you don't want to. But it'd be more fun if you were there. You could see were we grew up and if it's too much you could hide out in my super amazing childhood bedroom." She started rambling about all the perks that were to come if I decided to show and all the benefits I would have if I got there and hated it. When she started talking about how Emmett wouldn't mind if I wanted to hide in a fort that the boys made when they were 10, I cut her off.

"Sure, Alice," I giggled a little at her attempt to convince me. "What time do you want me where?"

She fed me the need-to-knows and let me know that if I wanted, she would happily come over and help me get ready. I just laughed and told her she was more than welcome to come over, but that I was planning on dressing myself. She grumbled slightly but said she'd pick me up in approximately two hours.

I got up slowly from the comfy spot I had spent all day breaking in and leisurely made my way to the closet. Jeans, definitely. I knew that if I tried to wear a skirt or dress, it would no doubt end up over my head by the end of the night because that's the kind of luck I have. _Luck of the Irish, my ass_. I probably should want to dress semi-girlie. I started grazing for a cute-ish shirt, not sure if I even had anything that Alice would consider cute. _What about my hair?_ I should probably put some effort into my appearance tonight. I knew I should want to try, but I didn't know what kind of people could be there. It was very likely that I wouldn't care about my appear…

Suddenly, I did know what kind of people would be there. I knew exactly what kind of people and I was absolutely stupid to not have realized it earlier. She said "we". And "we" always meant everyone. Brandons and Masens. (Alice had dubbed them the "Brandsens" long, long ago and she was very proud of her creation.)

Everyone meant Edward would be there.

For a brief second, I felt the urge to call Alice back. I wasn't sure if it was in order to cancel or to have her rush over here and dress me.

But just as suddenly as the urge came, it went.

I just … didn't care. He didn't want me and though my subconscious and my body disagreed with me most ardently, I was pretty sure that I didn't want him either. It was a mutual not-wanting… thing.

I looked back at my closet, slightly bitter, but not caring what I grabbed and threw my clothes on. Glancing at the clock, I saw that I had approximately 40 minutes before Alice would be on her way. I figured since it was Emmett's birthday, I could at least get him a card. I slipped on my flip-flops, grabbed the keys, and headed down to the car.

I made it back from the corner store with a few minutes to spare. Soon, I was back in my room attempting to make my hair do something in the remaining minutes. But quickly decided it was hopeless. After putting it back up, I added a touch of eyeliner to my eyes and brushed my teeth a little haphazardly. Alice's sporadic knocks collided with my door just as I was setting my toothbrush down in its place.

Alice greeted me with a bright smile that almost immediately dimmed when she saw that the hole in my jeans wasn't strategically placed by the manufacturer and the green t-shirt was something she probably wouldn't even sleep in on even her sickest days. She quickly recovered as I pushed her out the door, telling her I was excited to meet some new people.

Okay, so it wasn't the truth of the truth. I wasn't exactly thrilled to be meeting new people when the last time had gone so hideously wrong. But it surely couldn't hurt to try again... right? I could have a beer if I wanted to take the edge off and I wouldn't be so quiet and shy. Maybe it would make things less awkward when I saw Edward if I could be a little buzzed. _Or maybe, it'll allow you to lose all your inhibitions and ask him to fuck you… just like you wanted to earlier… like you want now._

I felt my face warm at the thought of him and the way my current thoughts were going. My mind was busy bringing back the all too wonderful very, very vivid dreams from early this morning.

We were at the Brandon's house after a short drive. The Brandon's freakin' huge, brick house. In my short time in Arizona, I had noticed that bricks were few and far between here. Every thing was stucco and everything was tan. But that was because the Brandon's house was crafted completely out of deep red bricks… obviously not leaving enough for anyone else in the entire state. The large house stood tall and bright. Every light seemed to be on. The long, circular drive was packed and I really hoped that all these cars were not all for Emmett.

Of course, my hopes often go unfulfilled.

Alice pulled into her garage on the side of the house. The space was massive. Surely this garage could hold several very large cars, but currently, the only vehicle inhabiting any of the space was Alice's Audi. We walked inside through a tiled laundry room and towards the thumping bass. She took a deep breath and smiled brightly at me before she swung the door open and began to work us through the crowd, into the living room, and in the direction of a large porch where there was an even larger mass. Alice pointed out people, as we grew closer to the group, giving me little tidbits of information, letting me know whom she thought I'd get along with best. She pointed out a girl with light brown hair named Angela who was talking to a girl with short curly hair named Jess. I quickly saw Emmett standing next to the Masen twins. I took a sigh of relief when I didn't spot any bronze colored hair but felt a small pang in the pit of my stomach that I chose to ignore. I'd have time to get used to my surroundings before I would have to deal with Edward. When we arrived at the group, Alice introduced me to the ones she pointed out and quickly pulled me over to say hi to Jasper and the rest. I smiled meekly, feeling slightly embarrassed now about my reaction on Thursday night.

I hadn't so much as said a single word to them when we had met for dinner. They probably thought that I was a nut case for saying what I had and then storming off. I felt my blush warm my face again. I nervously wished Emmett a happy birthday and handed him his card rather awkwardly. He smiled bigger and told me he was happy I gave them another chance while Alice, who had apparently left my side for a quick moment had returned, was back and handing me a beer and ushering the present Brandsens and me outside.

The porch was much larger than it had originally appeared to be. And of course, it opened into a large backyard that contained a pool/spa, a koi pond, and a half sized basketball court. Several groups inhabited the court, the pool, and the spa, but a majority of the parties' attendees were crowded around a large table covered in cups. Emmett and Jasper were goading each other about who sucked worse at beer pong. Rose and Alice sat talking quietly; I stood holding my beer watching others, inadvertently eavesdropping on several side conversations, trying to look entertained, and smiling politely at people that were introduced.

About an hour into the party, I had met everyone that was present. There were a couple guys who had come by to introduce themselves. One guy in particular had asked where my boyfriend was and I blushed in response. Tyler, the guy now making the scene, had overheard the exchange and dove in, offering his "boyfriend skills" for the night – "free of charge". I blushed more at that. Then, he took it upon himself to teach me the rules of beer pong.

During Tyler's explanation, Edward had shown up. I didn't make a move towards him or to avoid him – and he was doing the same. He milled around on the other side of the large table, surrounded by girls yet completely ignoring their presence. Just as I was doing to him. _Just as he's doing to me. _Although, I seemed to have a little trouble with not looking in his direction. Often times, when there was a lull in conversation, my eyes would gravitate his way. It was like he was the center of my being and my physical body had to point in his direction.

It was beyond annoying.

"No way, man." Tyler, who had been standing too close to me since his introduction, bragged to his friend... and anyone else within earshot. "There's no way that anyone could beat me at 'the pong'."

"Sure, Tyler," Jess said obviously unconvinced. Several of the girls around her giggled causing her to smirk.

"No. Really," he exclaimed looking around the group, "ask Masen. He knows." I felt my eyes try to look towards Edward, but I forcefully redirected them to Jasper. Hoping that he was the Masen in question.

But, like I mentioned earlier, my hopes mean nothing.

There was a light chuckle that made my insides warm. Well, warmer. Not only was it August in the desert but I had drank through my fair share of Coors Light in an attempt in trying to take the edge off, trying to talk to strangers more, trying to stop my mind from reliving dreams that would never be.

"I don't know, Ty. High school was a long time ago." Edwards smooth voice cut through the parties roar effortlessly.

"Oh, come on, man! Ya know I still gots it." Tyler bragged. He stood up and encouraged anyone who would like to challenge him to step forward.

"Sure ya do." Edward goaded him a little more as he laughed. "I'm sure anyone here could drink you under the table."

That's when Jasper perked up.

"Oh, oh, oh, brother. I'd love to see this."

"Yes, Edward. We'd _all_ love to see this. Why don't you put him to the test?" Rosalie challenged him as she and Jasper both lifted their eyebrow at him in true twin form.

Edward's face paled an infinitesimal amount but his smirk grew more pronounced. He stood up to his full height, probably a full foot taller than me, and stepped closer to Tyler in acceptance.

"Alright, Crowley. Let's do this." He said, cockily.

The rules were set up, new cups were placed and filled, chairs were loudly scooted closer, and I'm pretty positive that several bets were taken. Tyler walked over to Edward under the pretense of good sportsmanship and shaking hands but while their hands were clasped, Tyler leaned into him and mumbled something in his ear that made Edwards face turn a livid shade of red. I watched Edward step back while his lips angrily mouthed something back at Tyler. Tyler just smirked in response. Edward looked as if he were about to stand up and leave when Jasper put a hand on his shoulder to push him back down. Again, Edward was being whispered to, but his brother's words seemed to calm him rather than to rile him. The angry red soon faded in his cheeks, allowing them to go back to their normally pale and freckled selves, but his ears remained bright. His eyes were alight with a different sort of determination then he had started with. Whatever had been said also seemed to make said eyes flit towards me for just a second.

Ten minutes later, the crowd was jeering at Tyler, an apparent sore loser. When he had seen how close Edward actually was to beating him, he _conveniently_ slipped and haphazardly dove onto the table, causing 95% of his full cups to jostle and fall to the ground in hopes that the game would have to be forfeit.

Unfortunately for him, the crowd was far more aware than he had guessed and instantly named Edward the winner. Edward walked over to Tyler with a smirk in place and an offer to a rematch in which they would actually finish the game. Tyler just glared at him before looking around the large group of witness with a sour look upon his face.

Edward's smile had already been brilliant but when his eyes latched onto mine, the rest of his face caught up with his smile. There was something in that look that made him looks exponentially more joyful than he had all night. The look that had my body felt as if it were buzzing. Not from the alcohol in my system, but more of a … thrumming. Like electricity was pulsing through my veins. The gravitational pull towards Edward was growing rapidly.

And as much as I would have absolutely love to run up to him and make good on the fib that we had told Tanya, the pulsing of my veins was making me nervous. Not the good kind of nervous that ends in an awkward but grand goodnight kiss. The kind that made you breaks out in to a sweat, and twisted your stomach. The kind that made you feel nauseous.

Abruptly, there were far too many people around me. They were far too close. It was far too warm. There was far too much saliva in my mouth. I was going to be sick if I stayed standing where I was for far too much longer.

I forced myself away from Edward's gravitational pull and headed to the bathroom. After almost falling on my ass due to Tyler's "brilliant" plan that had left the floor completely wet and covered in red plastic cups, and pushing through the heavily populated house, I finally made it to the quiet, cool room. I locked the door behind me and pressed my back against the cold wall and slid down slowly. I tried to remember what my dad always did for me when I would get sick, but all that would come to mind was putting my head between my legs for dizziness.

I sat for a few extra minutes after I was sure I wasn't going to vomit, just to stay away from the loud, congested area. Taking deep breaths, I worked on sobering up so my Sunday wouldn't be wasted on a horrible headache. Finally, when the room had stopped jiggling each time I moved my head, I slowly stood up and turned to exit. However, opening the door only brought back the rush of anxiousness. But instead of locking myself in the bathroom for the rest of the night, I chose to go find Alice and let her know I needed to get home.

Once again, I braved through pushing through the swarm and avoiding the large spill. I found Alice and told her I was ready. After studying me for a second, she agreed. She said she just needed to make a quick round of goodbyes and she'd be right there. Deciding that I was done with the crowd, I told her I'd wait out front for her and that there was no rush. She nodded and then smiled at me and I took off for the sanctuary of the quiet inferno.

The crowd thinned as I made my way closer to the front of the house. The entry way was large and empty. There was a public staircase that curled up the rooms' wall that looked cooler and far more comfortable than going outside seemed. As long as the room stayed empty, I figured that this was better than outside. Smiling and excited about being able to sit down while I waited, I plopped myself down on the bottom step and stretched out. I closed my eyes, taking in deep breaths, and I felt all the anxiety that had built up so quickly inside begin to evaporate. My limbs felt lighter. My annoyance faded. My breaths came easier. My palms weren't soaking or clammy.

"Bell-Uhhh!" a males voice called out.

My body immediately tensed back up and all the progress that I had just achieved flew out the proverbial window. I let go of a heavy sigh and promised myself a bath whenever I got home. I opened my eyes back up to see who was calling me, only to see Tyler sitting too close and smiling too big. He had apparently gotten over losing while I had hidden myself in the downstairs bathroom.

"Hey pretty lady." His breath covered my face and the smell of alcohol attacked my nose. I forced a smile, trying to be happy to see him.

"Hey…Tyler. How's it goin?"

"Well, ya know." No. I didn't know.

"It could be a lot better." He looked at my from under his lashes. I couldn't be sure, but I think he was hitting on me. He sat down on my step and scooted closer. I moved closer to the wall trying to recover my personal space from the intruder. Unfortunately, his body quickly closed up the fresh space that had purposely been put between us. I tried hard to suppress a sigh. Yep. Definitely hitting on me. _Great._

"Bella, I know your type." I looked at him, confused. _My type?_ What the hell was he talking about?

"What do you mean, 'my type'?" I asked not bothering to hide the confusion in my voice.

"Mmhmm. I knew it. You're the kind of girl who's all shy until you get to knoooow her. She plays sweet and kind and just seems absolutely loveable. But there's something about you that you won't show anyone else," he said, grinning mischievously. "Have you ever heard the term 'Lady on the streets, freak in the sheets?'"

I'd never heard it, but I wasn't ignorant. I felt my face turn into a glare that I aimed right at him.

"Aw, honey. Don't look at me like that. I have an idea. Hows about we skip the lady and head straight to the fah-reak?" My eyes narrowed even further and just as I was about to tell him what he could go do with his idea, his lips collided with mine.

I was frozen. And completely disgusted.

However, my body soon thawed and my disgust quickly shifted to something like "fucking pissed". He moved his hand up to the back of my neck and started to try to pry my lips open with his repulsive tongue. I ripped my lips from his, grabbed his hand, and twisted his fingers until I heard a popping sound.

"Get the fuck off me, dill hole!" I said with as much venom in my voice as I could inject.

Unfortunately, the popping fingers didn't do much more than crack his knuckles. There was also must have been something in his inebriated brain that told him I didn't mean my words because he came closer and forcefully turned my face back to his, ramming him saliva covered tongue in my mouth. I pushed as hard as I could, but he had wrapped both of his arms around me. I was trapped. I began to panic and my pushes began to get more frenzied, but didn't grow in strength. I tried desperately to make any kind of sound that would tell anyone passing by that this was not pleasurable or wanted, but he just shoved his tongue further into my mouth, muffling all the noise. Tears started to well up in my scrunched up eyes as I tried my best not to whimper. I had mistakenly done that once already and fuckface had mistaken them for moans. It had only spurred him on and made his grip tighter.

Just as his hand began to grope and descend down my body, I was abruptly free. My breath was raged and I was pretty positive that I was hyperventilating. To my left, I heard a string of angry expletives followed by several dull thuds. Tyler was quickly replaced with Alice by my side as I felt the silent tears leak out to make paths down my face. Her arm was around me and she was speaking softly but I wasn't paying any attention to what words came from her mouth. My attention was latched onto a body that had appeared right in front of me. I wasn't sure when they got there, or why I suddenly felt the way that I did. I would have thought that I should have been more annoyed at the sight of him. But as I searched my feelings, all I could find was deep relief.

Edward Masen was kneeled in front of me, hands in front of him as if he meant to embrace me, but had stopped short of actually making contact with my skin. His face was worried, his eyebrows had pulled together, and the frown on his face was deep. I wanted to tell him to smile, because gods should never frown but it didn't seem appropriate. Little by little, I felt the fear, tears, and panic leave as I sat gazing into his green eyes. They were beautiful and full of emotion. His jaw clenched repeatedly and his upper lip twitched, something my dad used to do when he was angry. His crunched eyebrows said that he was worried. His stance showed he was unsure, perhaps regretful. But his eyes said only wonderful things. Beautiful things that inspire.

As I sat there, in Alice's arms, hearing Tyler's pitiful cries, staring into Edward's eyes, I felt something inside me move. Something shifted, though I wasn't sure what. I needed to move. Slowly and carefully, I removed myself from Alice's grasp despite her objections. I lowered myself in front of Edward, mirroring his kneeling state, watching his eyes follow my movements, and tracking the expressions that kept layering themselves. Confusion, shock, disbelief, and fear. I scooted closer to him gradually, just in case he wanted to get away. When we were finally close enough that I had to look up at him and he down at me, I put my arms around his waist and hugged his lean body. I rested my head on his chest and took a deep breath. As he hesitantly placed his arms lightly around my shoulders, every thing else fell away.

All the panic.

All the distress.

All the sounds.

All my worries.

All my annoyance.

They were all gone.

All because of Edward.

I suddenly had a sense of déjà vu. But it was strange. I knew I had never been in this position before. But there was something that gave the feel of coming home after being away on a long trip.

_Edward felt like home._

I'm not sure how long we stayed like that. Me, resting my head close to his heart with my eyes closed. Him, rubbing soft circles into the shirt on my back while rocking us very slowly. But I felt muscles in his chest move and I lifted my head up, finally, to see what was happening. Alice was still on the step, talking to Edward, and he was nodding to whatever she had said.

"I'll take her." He said quietly. When he looked down at me silently asking for approval, all I could do was notice that his face had smoothed. No more traces of any negative emotions were anywhere on his face or in his eyes. I must have nodded my head because he sent me a tiny smile and helped me up.

Holding on to my hand tightly, he pulled me close to him. Shoulder to shoulder, we began taking extra slow steps, ascending the fancy stairway to the Brandon's second floor. We passed closed door after closed door in silence until we reached the end of the hall to a smaller, less impressive stairwell to another floor. We continued to climb the stairs until we ran out. Edward, without dropping my hand, flipped a switch on the wall. When the lights came on and my surroundings came into view, I felt a smile try to fight it's way onto my face. We entered a loft-like room that was probably an attic originally. The room was longer than wide. The walls were two toned and speckled here and there with windows that surely lit up the room during the day. It was obvious that a lot of work had gone into the comfortable atmosphere up here. Closest to us, there were several squashy looking chairs that surrounded a flat screen that had been attached to one of the walls. The entertainment center under the mounted television seemed to house every gaming console imaginable, from the original Nintendo to the new Wii, along with a plethora of games. On the opposite wall, there was a black leather couch and lamp with shelves of books on both sides. The poor shelves looked as if they were about to buckle under the weight of all the pages they held. At the far end of the room, several changing screens had been pushed together, leaving a sizable chunk of this room out of view of where we were standing.

"Alice thought it'd be best if you stayed here tonight." He said softly. Edward gently led me by the hand towards the end of the room. I looked towards the bursting bookcases was we passed them, trying to see if I could spot any books I was familiar with but the lights weren't bright enough to see properly. I'd have to remember to check them out in the morning.

Edwards's hand quickly left mine once we reached the screens as his long legs took him to the side table to turn on a small lamp. He sat down on the bed and looked at me expectantly as he patted the empty space next to him. I tentatively went to sit near him. Both of our hands were in our own laps, both sets of eyes were carefully avoiding each other. After he had dropped my hand, the contact had severed that we had and I was beginning to feel uneasy… nervous. I wasn't sure what to say to him.

_Congratulations on beating a douche at a drinking game! _

_I see you escaped Tanya unscathed. _

_Thanks for holding me right after fuckface attacked me. _

_This may be poor timing, but I had the best wet dreams about you last night. That's right. Dreams. Multiple. Why don't you come on over and we'll see if we can make those dreams come true?_

I stared down at my feet with a hot face, feeling a little more than awkward and embarrassed that I was thinking of a naked Edward after what had just happened. His warm hand cupping my chin, wordlessly asking for me to look at him, I slowly lifted my eyes and looked into his. I felt my blush grow warmer as I took in the intensity of his stare.

"Are you okay, Bella?" he asked sincerely. I nodded demurely and swallowed hard. Why did he have to be so … good-looking? His lips turned up into a small smile as he grabbed a hold of my hand and squeezed. I felt my face brighten as the contact had been reformed.

_Home._

For a moment, we just looked at each other. In my mind's eye, flashes of Edward's life fade in and out. He was smiling and laughing, but the look in his eye was significant – it was serious in the best way. Dressed all in black, he waited anxiously next to another man at the end of an aisle. He was lower to the ground than normal, running toward someone with his arms wide when suddenly a little girl with curly, reddish hair came in to view running full speed back at him. He was stirring the pot in his hand, apron tied around his waist, brilliant smile in place as he mouthed to someone, _"I love you."_

"Come on. Let's get you to bed." He said with his half-smile twisting at his lips.

We both stood. Edward allowed me to continue clinging to his hand while he awkwardly pulling the blankets down from their place. Then, turning to face me, he lifted his free hand as if he were going to touch my face. But like earlier, he stopped before making contact. A strange expression overtook his features before he spoke a quiet goodnight. A feeling of panic shot through my body as I felt his grip loosen on my hand as he turned to leave. I felt my chin quiver where he had earlier touched my face and I called out for him.

I couldn't quite explain it, or why I did what I did right after, but I felt as if I didn't call out for him, something bad would happen. I needed him near me. His body froze under my stare and then slowly turned to listen. I felt my face heat up again at the thought of what I was about to ask him. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea, but thinking about being by myself tonight made my stomach clench.

"Would you… do you think you could maybe… stay? With… me?" I rushed. The embarrassment didn't beat out the need for him, but it was still there. It was still strong. His eyebrow raised and his face looked surprised.

"You don't have to, I just…ya know, it's a big room and who knows who could come up here at any time… I would prefer not to be alone tonight, and I don't know where I am, and I don't like the dark …"

"Sure." His short answer cut mine off completely. His surprised expression slowly returning to his half smile. He helped me out of my shoes and into the spot where I was to sleep before pulling the blankets back up and around my shoulder.

Suddenly drowsy, I felt myself sink into the warmth and comfort that the bed provided. Before sleep took over, I heard a door slide shut, two distinct clicks followed by footsteps, and then the lamp beside me was off. As I drift off into a comfortable, uninterrupted sleep, a soft, warm voice whispers lovingly:

"Sweet dreams, little Bella Swan."


End file.
